When Darkness Calls
by carrothien
Summary: Ken is falling into the darkness of his mind and can't find a way out after he and Ran have a fight. Bad summary. Has dark themes and suicide. Implied RxK.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss. That being said I am going to put in a corner for a while.  
  
Could be rated PG-13 possibly (but I don't think it needs to be) for dark themes and Suicide (or perhaps implied suicide).  
  
Summary: Ken is falling into the shadows of his mind and doesn't think that he can find a reason to keep going. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- - --  
  
When Darkness Calls, Who Will Save Us  
  
I'm falling again down this never-ending abyss. Where the haunting voices surround me and the darkness seems to have no end. Here is where I find myself time and time again. Wandering alone in the cold looking for something, yet I'm not sure what I am searching for. I have played this out a thousand times and every time it ends the same, I end up with no answers, no clue, nothing. I want a light yet now the hope of finding one has been lost and the darkness around me grows deeper. Every harsh word, every failure, every kill, that I have ever done replays in front of my mind's eyes. With every mission the abyss grow deeper, one day I know I will never be able to make it out.  
  
The only reason I can come out of it now is because I feel the need to find something to hold onto no matter how small, and your love was just that light that I thought would help me survive. But the love we once shared is dying right along with me. For every kiss there are twice as many blows and for every kind word whispered there are ten more insults waiting to be unleashed. I can't live like this much longer, one can only guess how I have survived this long.  
  
Last night was the worst, you told me you wished I would disappear and never return. So here I am now sitting on my bedroom floor staring at the blade in my hand replaying your words over and over in my head. A tear goes unnoticed down my cheek as I stare blankly at the sharp edges, listening to what the voices say. They are getting muffled slightly by the screams that keep pulsing in my head from all the deaths I have caused in the past, however I still catch the meaning. They are telling me that I am worthless and I should do everyone, including myself, the favor by finishing myself off.  
  
Slowly these words sound more inviting and I lay the edge of the blade on my arm. I sigh at the feeling of the cool blade trying to figure out if this is really the path that I should take. I hear your voice again, those harsh words you spoke replay again and that is when I make my decision.  
  
If is funny how all the voices seem to disappear as the blade starts to dig into my arm. I watch fascinated as the blood starts to pour out of my left wrist followed shortly by my right. However the blood flowing out of me slows down and I realize that this is not going how I hoped, so I ran the blade down the length of my arm, running from my elbow to my wrist. Ah. Now I feel the effects of the blood loss. My head starts to swirl and I now that the end is not to far off. The voices return, only now they are whispering softly.  
  
As I fall toward the ground small smile graces my face as my mind tells me that my suffering is about to be over. However before my heavy eyelids fall I see my door open to reveal your figure looking in at me. In an instant you are by my side chastising me for what I have done, then begging me to stay with you. I look hazily at you face one last time and am shocked to see sadness in those eyes that were forever cold to me. A tear hits my face, am I crying? No, it's your tears. This is not how it is supposed to be your supposed to be glad I'm gone, you are supposed to be free of me and able to move on. I now regret my decision and I start to cry as well.  
  
"Aya..Ran, I'm sorry. Goodbye." I whisper to him as the world around me goes dead. I no longer can hear the your voice though I know that you are speaking to me and from the look on you face and in your eyes I can tell that you are pleading with me not to go. The last thing I see before I fall into the ever darkening abyss is your lips saying the very things I have always longed to hear, but never did.  
  
'Aishiteru, Ken'  
  
~ The End  
  
What happens to Ken, well that can be for the reader to decide, unless you want me to write more.  
  
Please tell me what you think, This is my second Weiss fic so I'm a little unsure of what I am writing and would appreciate the feedback. I don't know whether I like it or not, it was just something that sort of typed itself and before I knew it I had it completed.  
  
Also I don't know whether I should go more in-depth to the story and use this as a sort of teaser to a much longer story or another option would be to just write another chapter saying what happens after this ends.  
  
Anyway please let me know what you think. Thanks. 


	2. Aya's view

A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate the feedback. Also I am so sorry it took this long to get the next chapter written. This one is going to be in Aya's pov which is partially why it took so long. I seem to have a hard time writing him in character, though I have no clue as to why. Anyway enough babbling, on with the story.  
  
Summary of second chap: Since the first chapter was in Ken's pov and some people said that I should do one in Aya's, so here it is.  
  
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We all have our demon's, that is what you told me one day when I shut you out. You were right, we all do. We all creep along the edge of the abyss testing fate to see how long we can keep our balance before falling in and letting the demon's consume ourselves. However I did not want any help with the burden of my nightmares, but still they pushed. So I found a solution, just shut everyone out of your life and no one will want to get close to you. I told myself this so many times and I eventually started to believe it. To my delight it worked, or so I thought.  
  
You were the exception. Every time I would push you away you would just try harder to get close to me. You infuriated me to no end with your menial attempts to get through, what Yoji has so kindly named, my ice wall. Instead of giving in and giving you the reaction you wanted I would walk past you without even so much as a glance and start on some little task,. I found many ways to keep myself busy. Sometimes it would be tending to the flowers in the shop and sometimes it would be sharpening my katana, which by chance proved to be the best way to keep people away.  
  
I always came out being the victor, that is until that day. Weiss had just found out that I had a sister and wanted to know why I took her name as well as why they were never told. Only you were silent, just staring at me blankly. Suddenly I had to get out of this room, this house, so I decided that despite the rain that was falling I was going for a walk. I quickly turned around and mentioned that I would be back.  
  
After walking blindly for quite some time I ended up in the park. Glancing around I was pleased to find that the grounds had been deserted due to the weather. I walked up to the nearest tree and sat down leaning against it, not minding that I would have to clean mud off my close later on. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander over my past until I heard footsteps. Looking up I saw you. You were standing next to me looking off in distance. Finally you looked at me and sat down patiently waiting for me to make the next move. Since you were often times brash and hot headed I thought you would do something if I waited long enough. I was wrong again you just sat there looking at me. So I instigated a little staring match.  
  
Finally I let out a sigh and looked at the ground. Realization hit me then, you had never pushed me to say anything before, you just gave hints to let me know that you were there for me. I started to tell you about my past. When I got to the part about my family's death and what happened to my sister I started to cry. I tried to choke the tears back like I had done for so long but that only resulted in me sobbing harder. You put a comforting arm around my shoulders and let me cry. Never once saying a word. When I was able to regain my composure I finished telling you my story.  
  
When I was finished I just sat there leaning against your side while you still had your arm around me. After a few moments I looked up at you I gave you a slight smile as a thank you , you smiled back then stood up declaring it was time we got going. I stood up as well and started to walk away then stopped realizing that you weren't following me. When I turned to ask why you shocked me when you started saying that you to had a confession to make. That is when you told me that you loved me. I just stood there stunned at what I had heard then I saw the hurt in your eyes, yet there was understanding in them as well. You walked past me slowly keeping your eyes on the ground. I quickly reached up and grabbed your wrist. Those chocolate eyes looked up at me confused.  
  
"I'm not sure we'll work, but I'm willing to give it a try if you are." I told you. You looked stunned but recovered quickly and gave me a hug. With that we left for home. This was were everything started to go downhill. At first it was just the occasional tiff about the fact that I wasn't opening up anymore, but that quickly changed into all out brawls.  
  
Tonight was the worst fight we had ever had. You were mad bout the fact that I never showed you affection and that I was always so cold to him. At this I got mad since you knew that this was how I always was. The harsh words started to flow out of both of us. Finally I sighed in defeat, I was getting tired of this routine that never got us anywhere.  
  
"It's over." I say to you quietly.  
  
"What do you mean it's over?" I couldn't tell whether you wre more confused, hurt, or angry.  
  
"We're through, I am tired of this. Just leave me alone." I started to leave until I heard you mummble something. "What did you say?"  
  
"I said you were a heartless bastard who never deserves to be loved." You say looking me straight in the eye. Another argument quickly ensued. However you were quick to deal the breaking point.  
  
"I bet your sister would be ashamed at how you are today." These were the last words I heard you say.  
  
"How dare you even talk about her. You have no right to even think about her. You know nothing." I ran towards you punching you square in the jaw knocking you over. "You know what would make me the happiest man alive, to have you disappear and never come back." I left after saying this and locked myself up in my room.  
  
I never thought I would hate silence, but now I do. It allows your mind to wander and that can sometimes hurt. After hearing your door slam I began to think over everything that had happened over the past weeks. I felt heartbroken and I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't as if you ever meant all that much to me anyway, did you? I can't get rid of the empty feeling I now have. I begin to remember when we first started 'going out' we used to talk in my room after the others fell asleep, normally about menial things but it was still nice. Suddenly I felt something wet on my cheek. I was crying, but why. Then I realized that it was because you really did mean something to me and I just let you go. I quickly resolved to get you back. I walk to you room and turn the handle, completely unprepared for what I was about to see.  
  
You were laying on the floor in a puddle of your own blood, a blade is on the floor by your hand. I run to your side as fast as I can.  
  
"Why, why did you do this? Ken you idiot. What the hell were you thinking?" Tears start to fall from my eyes as I hold you in my arms. The light in your eyes starts to grow dim. "No, Ken stay with me, everything will be fine." This can't be happening you had to be alright. ""Aya..Ran, I'm sorry. Goodbye." You whisper as your eyelids start to fall shut tears are now flowing down your face as well. Finally I get the nerve to tell him my true feelings in one last attempt to keep you here with me.  
  
"Aishiteru, Ken."  
  
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TBC  
  
Well I hope everyone likes this chapter. I'm not sure I like it. I have trouble writing Aya but I hope it was at least a good attempt. The next chapter will not be written in his pov though, so hopefully it will be better. Anyway please tell me what you think.  
  
Again thanks to: Gonyos, ko0okai, I-Love-Ken-Hidaka, HeeroDuo4eva, Olivia-yuymaxwell, Susan, Celeste1, Misura, and Kirei aya. 


	3. Dark thoughts

Again I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far. I apologize for the third chapter to take a while. I was debating doing a chapter in Yoji's pov on the situation but then realized then I would probably have to do one in Omi's just to be fair and in my opinion I don't write Omi very well, but I also said the same about Aya and I have been told that I do actually write him pretty well. So who knows there may be one in the future. if anyone wants me to try I am willing to attempt it. So if you do let me know either by review or by email. Thanks again.

Chapter 3: Another in Ken's POV.

Darkness. Silence.

These are the last things I remember, but now...

I can hear a beeping noise that sounds faint and distant. Slowly it gets louder as I become more awake and conscious to my surroundings. I finally open my eyes but quickly slam them shut at the brightness that overtakes my vision. What happened? Was this heaven? Funny, I always thought I would end up in hell for my sins. I try lifting my arm slightly only to have a rather sharp, blinding pain shoot up it. Well, at least now I know I'm alive.

I reopen my eyes slowly allowing them to adjust to my bright surroundings. Now it dawns on me that I am currently in a hospital and the events of the other day come back to me in a flash. The fight, the anger, the blade, the blood, your silent plea. All these things now run through my head. That beeping is getting on my nerves though. I glance over at the offending machine and try to think of a way to shut it off. Suddenly a short, portly nurse walks in and glares at me.

"So your up now are you. You should have hit the call button to let us know." She says angrily. I bite back a few choice words and settle for just glaring daggers back at her. Soon she gives me a quick check up then leaves the room.

What now?

I sink back against my pillow as I run this question through my head. What now? To be honest, I don't know. I never once through all the nightmares in my life thought I would ever try to actually off myself. Off course I considered it a few times, who in my position hasn't? A chance to take the easy way out instead of letting the pain consume them, but I never seriously thought I would try to do it.

I also have you to consider. What do you think of me now? Do you think I am a coward and a weakling, or do you blame yourself for the events that have occurred? I hope you realize that this wasn't your fault. It never was. I was always the hotheaded screw up and you were the perfect one, in every sense of the word. Your speech, your movements, your looks, your everything.

My silent brooding is suddenly interrupted as the door to my hospital room is opened. This time it is an actual doctor. He was an older gentleman, probably mid to late fifties, with dark gray hair, and glasses. He started looking over his charts before finally looking up at me.

"Well you seem to be recovering alright. How are you feeling?" He said smiling.

'Like shit' was my first thought, but I decided that I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible so I changed my answer. "I'm fine. When can I leave?" my voice sounded strained even to my own ears. His eyes locked onto mine. I could tell that he wasn't fooled at all by what I had said. However he let it slide.

"We will have to keep you here for at least for another 12 hours if not longer." After seeing my angered expression he added, "You must understand Mr. ..... Hidaka, that you almost died, and I don't just mean when you first passed out back at your home. We here at the hospital fought for a long time before you were finally in the clear."

"Huh, why did you even bother? You should have just let me go." I stated flatly as I continued to give him a hard look. He raised his eyebrow but again didn't push the issue.

"We will have to make sure that you are in the clear before you can leave and that will take some time. Anyway I came in to tell you that your friends want to visit."

'Ha, what friends.'

He paused waiting for my response, when he got none he just made a slight 'hmm' sound then walked out of the room. Finally peace.

I turned my head to look out the window next to my bed watching as a pair of birds flew by. Oh how I wish I could be free and innocent like them, but instead I am forced by an unfortunate twist of fate to be kept here in my cave of darkness, hunting those whose crimes often seem to relate to closely to my justice. At times I wonder what the difference between them and myself is. I try to tell myself that the reason I do is to protect others from getting hurt. But in the end its still taking a life. There is never justice in that. That's what my mom told me. There is no greater crime then the taking of a life, no matter the circumstances.

I was stirred from my thoughts by the sound of the door opening. I ignored whoever the person was figuring that it was just another nurse or doctor. The intruder was quiet for a while, I could feel their eyes boring into the back of my head. Then the person cleared their throat and I turned to find my self staring into a pair of bright emerald eyes.

"Yoji....."

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TBC? Sorry if this chapter is not as good as the others, there has been like a 3 month break from when I wrote the beginning to when I wrote the end. But I hope that everyone still enjoys it.

Ok I'm sorry about ending it there but I wanted to get this posted since I am running VERY behind schedule in my updating. Please bare with me though. I just started my freshmen year of college so I may not have a lot of free time, but I should be able to update fairly shortly (though I can't guarantee that).

Anyway thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed. It means a lot.

**Misura: **I am so relieved that you thought I wrote Aya well. I struggled so much with that chapter trying to get him right. I really love your fics and I hope that you decide to write more in "Soccer and Other Games" as well as "In Perspective". Thank you so much for reviewing.

**Hele: **Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it.

**Kirei Aya:** hands out a tissue Sorry I made you cry, I hope it wasn't to hard. I'm really glad that you have liked what I have wrote so far. Don't worry there are still a few chapters left to type. Please review again and Thanks again for your comments.

**Kylie Norris:** Thanks for reviewing. I'm really glad that you like what I have done so far. As to Ken and Aya's fate, who knows what'll happen?

**Phisper:** Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I was very flattered by what you wrote in your review. I was so happy when I read it. I hope you liked this chapter as well.

**Additional thanks go out to**: Mondtanz, DeMonic Lustre, Silverfrost, Olivia-yuymaxwell, and storie2tell. Thank you all SO much for your comments and support.

Please Review and tell me what you think. Thank you.


	4. The beginning, Yoji's POV

This is my longest chapter so far. I should be able to update a lot more now that I have work (I never have anything to do there so I have been writing a lot). Again thank you SO much to everyone who reviewed.

Oh and this chapter is in Yoji's POV. I have never written him before so please bear with me and I apologize for any OOC moments. Surprisingly his POV was harder to write in than Aya's. Also I think I may have changed tenses a few times, I tried to avoid doing this but I may have done it in a few places.

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Weiss

Chapter 4

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I can't remember a time when I have been more scared in my life. Not even when I watched Asuka get shot in front of my own eyes. I am absolutely terrified.

I am sitting here now in a cold had plastic chair waiting for news, any news, from the doctor. Manx is here now and is currently sitting with her arm wrapped around Omi's shoulders as he sleeps. He had exhausted himself crying so Manx had made him sit down and not long after he was lost in a worried sleep. Aya is sitting a few chairs down from then staring blankly at the sterile tile floor. I have never seen him look more lost than he does right now. He's so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he doesn't even bother wearing his icy mask.

As for me, I am just numb. I have been since I ran into Ken's room to find Aya cradling Ken in his arms covered in his blood and Omi on his knees crying into balled fists just inside the door. I never expected to see this. I was woken up by Aya screaming and heard Omi run down the hall. I will never be able to clear that sight from my mind.

I have yet to figure out what exactly had happened. All I knew was that Ken had tried to kill himself, and that I believe Aya had something to do with it. I don't think the ice princess wanted Ken to die, but they have been having some rather bad argument lately. Tonight's was no exception. I didn't hear what was said since I was outside smoking to get away from the noise, but I did hear a door slamming signaling it was safe to reenter the house.

To think that just half a year ago, six months ago, I would have never thought anything like this would happen, least of all to Ken.

**Flashback to 6 months prior**

The Koneko was fairly quiet thanks to a festival that was taking place across town. The weather was quite warm, especially for it being early April. Despite the lack of customers and the amount of other stores that were closed for this occasion, the iceberg still made us keep the shop open regular hours. Currently it was only Aya and me manning the shop. Omi was upstairs resting his injuries from a particularly rough mission we had two days ago. He had sprained both his wrist and his ankle and had some rather nasty bruises. As for Ken he was off at a soccer game and should be back any moment now. He saved for weeks in order to buy his ticket and was extremely close to murdering our beloved leader when he told him he couldn't go. But after a lovely fist fight and some help from the resident chibi, Kenken got his way.

I was busying myself watering some tulips while Aya was trying to get an arrangement just right. He's a damn perfectionist if I ever met one. He was wearing a black t-shirt and pair of Khakis, it made you wonder if he ever wore anything but black, or orange. I had on a sleepless blue shirt and a pair of well fitting jeans. It was too nice out not to be comfortable. Aya kept looking at the clock counting every minute that Ken was late, thinking of numerous ways to make him pay for it I'm sure.

'Ahhh thinking of which here he is now.'

He walks into the shop wearing just a pair of worn blue jeans and a wife beater. The soccer jersey he left wearing is now in his left hand. He yells a greeting over his shoulder to me, grinning like a kid in candy store. Aya walks over a promptly tells him how late he was. Though I don't think getting flipped off was the answer he was expecting, but leave it to Ken to further get under his skin. Just before Ken leaves to get changed into work clothes he takes off his shirt while looking over the list deliveries he has to make giving up a wonderful view of his well tanned muscular chest. Hey I make love the ladies, but I can appreciate beauty in all forms and if I do say myself Ken is rather good looking.

Thinking of which, 'Did I just see Aya staring almost openly at our dear Kenken's hot body?' When he notices that I saw his lingering glance he yells for me to get back to work and then turned quickly back to his arrangement.

'Wait a second…… Is Aya… blushing? Oh this is perfect!'

With Ken gone I can now address Aya. "Some view, eh Aya?"

"What are you talking about Kudoh?" He says darkly as he looks up at me

"Well I was just noticing what a looker Ken is."

"I never really noticed." He says turning back to his work. "Now get back to work, we still are in business." Well not the answer I was hoping for, but he is blushing again. I am about to comment again, but Ken comes back. As he leaves with the deliveries I watched as Aya kept his gaze on Ken's butt until he was no longer in sight.

'things could get very interesting….'

**3 months later….**

The mission was a complete disaster. The only thing that had gone right was that we somehow managed to get the target and complete the mission objective. Everyone has come away with some kind of injury. Manx had been called when we got home and was sending over a doctor.

The team is currently waiting in a tense silence the mission's room waiting, each nursing wounds but trying to cover up the pain.

Omi had a pretty bad blow to the head leaving a wide gash and probably a concussion. His left forearm was a nasty shade of blackish blue and he was sporting a black eye. Close range weapons were hard to use at times but for the most part he fought well. Various other parts of his body had scrapes and bruises making him very sore, but all things considered nothing serious.

Aya wasn't in too bad a shape either. He also had a black eye, which he got by coming up behind Omi to close and getting elbowed in the face. I am definitely going to harass him for it once we all are feeling better. He had a sprained wrist and because of this he was forced to hang back slightly from the fight. After all it's hard to use a katana effectively in that kind of situation with one arm and hand to hand combat had also become a challenge. However later in the fight he was able to confiscate one of the guard's guns and help again. The majority of his injuries were just cuts and bruises.

I had gotten shot at a few times resulting in a bullet to my thigh and a graze to my shoulder. I have a cut across my check from where a guard got to close to me while I was helping Aya and pulled a knife on me. I think my arm may be fractured or possibly broken from where I mad contact with a flight of stairs. Because of this lovely collusion with the steps I am now sporting a giant bruise that extended over the majority of my back. It hurts like hell, and I'm damn lucky it wasn't broken.

Ken had the worst injuries by far. Since Ken was the only one that was able to efficiently fight in close range combat he took it upon himself to take on most of the work, always stepping up to take out any guard that came near us, protecting the rest of us and neglecting to look after himself and it cost him. Ken had a stab wound to his right forearm that was pretty deep and bleeding heavily. His right wrist was also torn up from when one of the guards managed to snap 2 blades on his bugnuks. He was sporting numerous bruises and scrapes which is to be expected after any mission, but his ribs were exceptionally bad and possibly broken. Aside form his arm, the worst of his injuries were the two gun shot wounds, one to his hip and the other to his shoulder, both making direct hits. He got both pushing Aya out of the line of fire towards the end of the fight and that damn bastard still continued to fight even after that. Lastly he had a gash running from the middle of his forehead down to his temple that just nicked the corner of his left eye. He was very lucky that that wound hadn't been too deep or I doubt ken would still be alive or even have use of that eye.

It took Aya and Omi about 30 minutes to get both me and Ken out to the car, which for assassins is quit pathetic. Ken surprisingly enough never passed out during all of this and ended up sitting/ laying in the backseat next to me. Manx had been called when we had gotten to the car and was supposed to be sending a doctor to the house to take care of all of us. He tried to have a conversation with Omi during the ride home, but some things he said were jumbled and random. I could tell the only reason he was even trying was to get Omi to relax a little, but it wasn't working. We all were scared shitless, he had lost so much blood we didn't know what to expect. I noticed Aya glancing back at Ken any time he had stopped talking just to make sure everything was still in the green. This did nothing to ease my nerves since he never shows this kind of concern for anyone but his sister.

Could it be that Aya really cares for Ken? True he never goes out of his way to be nice to him or anything, but he has been less icy towards him lately. And what is with all the looks he's been giving Ken for some time now.

I never got to finish my thoughts as my door was opened and I was being escorted along with Ken into out mission's room. Ken was placed on the couch with his feet on Omi's lap, I was sitting in an arm chair, and the ice princess was pacing in front of the couch.

"Why?" Aya's question startled all of us from our thoughts

"Why what, Aya?" I ask calmly. Instead of facing me he stops pacing and stands by Ken's head and stares down at him hard.

"Why did you push me out of the way?" If I didn't know better I would say that our deaf fearless leader was afraid. Then I look again at Ken and instantly understood why he might be. The poor kid has lost so much of his color, he almost looks grey. His eyes are half way open, continually fighting to close, his will power being the only thing keeping him awake. He is more worried about us worrying about him instead of ourselves than his own state. He's always been this selfless, he always tries to put others first, I envy that. There is blood already seeping through the cloth that he is weakly holding against his head. That's when it hit me that we may in fact be losing one of our team, one of my best friends. Omi has started crying softly and Ken is still just looking up at Aya. There is still that light in those chocolate eyes that has always been there, but now it seems to be fading more and more by the minute. Aya has lost his patients and grabs the front of Ken's shirt roughly and pulls him up causing him to flinch. Omi gets startled and I struggle to stand wanting to stop the situation from becoming dangerous.

"Aya, you bastard, what the hell are you doing? He's injured you dickhead! Let him go right now or I'll…" Aya's booming voice cuts me off before I could finish the threat.

"Damn it, answer me! Why did you do it?" Aya is now screaming just inches from Ken's face. Birman has entered sometime during this and is staring shocked at the scene before her.

I start to say something again, but hesitate as I see a tear fall down Aya's cheek. 'He's actually crying!' I think to by self, shocked at what I am seeing.

Maybe it wasn't just Ken's health that he was afraid of. Maybe it's also what Ken made him feel that scares him the most.

"Why?" This time this voice is just barely above that of a whisper. His head is tilted down so his eyes were hidden from Ken.

Ken smiled up at him ignoring the blood that was now dripping down the side of his face and falling to the floor.

"Because Aya, I….I lo….I love you. Aishiteru Aya." I almost fall into my chair at hearing this, resulting in a flash of pain from my back, but that is easily ignored right now. I can tell the others are just as stunned as I was at hearing this. Omi's staring slack jawed at the two of them and Aya is looking at Ken completely wide eyed.

Aya turned his head to the side and lowers Ken back onto the couch. The small smile that adorned Ken's face saddened. "It's ok, I understand. I didn't expect you to feel the same way, but can I ask one last thing of you," he pauses trying to put strength into his words despite the fact that he almost had none left, "Please take care of the others for me"

"Shut up!" Aya's voice was shaky, but it still held that no nonsense tone that no one ever questioned. "Just shut up. I will now be the one taking care of them. You will. Just like you always have." Again Ken smiled up at him, wear he found the strength to do so I will never know.

"We all know that that is impossible when I'm dead." He said this so to the point that it scared me. By now the tears were falling from all of our eyes as we watched our friend fade. I for one felt as though I were dieing inside.

"No Kenken you're going to be fine, just like you always are. You got that Your going to be fine." I stated as I approached the couch once more.

"Yoji-kun's right. You'll be ok, right Aya?" We all turn to see his head tilted so we could no longer see his eyes. Suddenly he looks up and stares into Ken's eyes while he kneels down

"They're right Ken. You can make it through this, you have to." I rest my one hand on Aya's shoulder and the other I hold Ken's least injured hand, not caring that I am getting covered in blood. Omi continued to cry but placed a hand lovingly on Ken's leg. Birman once again cleared her throat reminding us of her presence.

"Ken-kun, the doctors here, just hold on ok." Omi manages to say through his sobs. I stand slowly, wincing as pain shoots through my back, but I grit my teeth and sit sown on the edge of the chair again. Aya stands again but remains by Ken's side. We all watch in silence as the doctor approaches. Ken smiles at us and starts to open his mouth to speak but the extent of his injuries has finally caught up with him and he passes out.

The doctor maneuvers around Aya and begins to exam Ken, but my eyes never once looked at him. They were glued to Ken's chest watching as it rose with every breath. I just had to make sure he was breathing, that he was still alive.

"Abyssinian, I know for a fact that you have received training on how to treat wounds. So what are you waiting for, get to work on Balinese." Birman's voice broke through the silence and left no room for argument. Aya silently left the room returning moments later with our large first aid kit.

He walks over to me and waits as I try to take my shirt off. When he sees that I am having too much trouble he decides to help me.

"This is what you get for dressing like a slut." His attempt at humor shocks me but I quickly recover giving him a small smile letting him know that I appreciate his attempt to lighten the mood however awkward it may be.

"Well at least I'm not ashamed to show off my handsome good looks. You should try it some time." He snorts at this and continues working on my back. In all seriousness though Aya really should show himself off a little. Truth be told he has a great body, creamy skin, violet eyes, and exotic red hair. What's not to go for except maybe that icy act that he tries to make every one believe? Don't get me wrong I still love the ladies, but I don't mind admitting beauty when I see it. I'm pulled from my thoughts as the stinging in my back increases as he starts to wrap my back and chest with gauze. I grit my teeth but stay quiet.

"Sorry." Aya mumbled it so quietly that I barely heard him. Now I knew something was definitely wrong with our dear leader. He almost never apologizes, least of all to me. I reached out and grasped his arm. He tenses up at first but then relaxes as he turns to face me. He then places a hand on my shoulder and looks me straight in the eye. We both seek as much comfort as the other can offer at the moment.

Aya was the first to shun away, using his free hand to knock mine off of his arm before returning to looking over my wounds. All I can do is stare on as the doctor takes care of Ken and pray for the best.

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TBC

Please review and let me know what you think.

Sorry to end it there, but this chapter was going to end up being extremely long and I wanted to post at least part of it since its taken me a while to do so. There is more in the making, at least 2 if not three chapters are already written up or in progress I just have to type them up.

Also sorry for any OOC moments or screw ups in past/present tense. I was trying to keep mess ups to a minimum, but I am sorry if there are mistakes. If you notice any please let me know so that I can make the changes. Thanks.

Anyway please let me know what you think.

Chapter 2 of The Past Can't Be Erased is also in the works. I just have to finish typing it. Hopefully it will be finished soon so I can post it. If you haven't read it please do and let me know what you think.

**Kirei Aya:** Thank you for reviewing. This one is longer than the last one luckily. I hope you like it as well. Please let me know what you think.

**Olivia-yuymaxwell:** Thanks for the review. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint. This one fortunately was longer than chapter 3 was.


	5. Diagnosis, Yojis POV con't

Alright first off thank you so much to all of you who reviewed my last chapter as well as previous chapters and thank you all for your comments. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as well.

Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss Kreuz, never have and I am pretty sure that I never will.

Chapter summary: Basically a continuation of last chapter. Its starts off still in Yoji's flashback and in his POV. I have no idea how long this story is going to end up being or what exactly is going to happen. This is one that is definitely writing itself so hopefully you all will stick with me and let me know what you think. Well got off topic of the summary. Sorry. Anyway on with chapter .

Warning: The language in this chapter is a little. The F word is used 2or 3 times and there are a few others in there. Just wanted to warn you in case it's an issue, though overall I don't he language is that strong.

**Chapter 5**

A few minutes passed before all of my wounds were treated and I was bandaged up. Omi has started falling asleep and there was still no word from the doctor on Ken's condition. Aya has returned to his previous state of staring at the floor lost in thought. I wish I knew what was going on in his head. What was he thinking now, especially after Ken's confession?

After what felt like a lifetime the doctor stood up and cleared his throat to gain our attention.

"As I am sure you all are aware, Siberian's condition is not very good. In fact he is incredibly lucky that he is in great physical condition or he probably would already be dead." He paused seeing our grim faces and turned to Birman for permission to continue. After her nodding in consent he continued. "To start off Siberian is suffering from major blood loss…"

"Yeah, tell us something that we don't know already doc, or get out of here." I fumble around trying to find a cigarette to calm my nerves, even though I knew I wouldn't be able to light it in here.

"Balinese shut up. Don't blame the doctor for your teams screw ups. If you should be mad at anyone it should be yourselves." Birman's comments broke Aya out of his thoughts and back to the present situation. He quickly strode over to her giving her the death glare, as I like to call it. She just smirked snidely back at him. I really do hate this woman sometimes.

"Are you saying that the mission's outcome is our fault? I am afraid you are sadly mistaken. If your people in Kritiker would have given us accurate and up to date information than all of this could have been avoided."

"So you still want to blame your team member's stupidity on us? It's his own fault that he got injured." Birman frowned as Aya raised his hand as if he was going to slap her, but I cut him off.

"First of all we were completely professional on this mission just like we are on every mission. The only stupidity I see is your fuckin' higher ups who could give a shit what happens to us. As you already heard Ken got most of his injuries covering our backs." I generally hated yelling at a woman, but this was an acceptation, she has no right saying that about Ken.

"Well then that's Siberians fault now isn't it." She stressed his name drawing attention to the fact that I hadn't used Ken's codename. I personally could have given a shit. "If he had just worried about himself and the mission objective like he was trained to do instead of fretting over your well being then he might have faired slightly better."

"What! How dare you…."

"ENOUGH!" Omi's voice boomed above my own. We all turn and look at him, slightly shocked at his sudden outburst. "This is not the time to be fighting. Just let the doctor get through what he has to say," Then he turned at looked pointedly at Birman, "and then while Weiss takes time out to recover you can go and tell Kritiker to go fuck themselves for all I care."

I for one could not believe that that outburst really had come out of Omi, but a small smirk crossed my face as I looked over at Birman. She had a look of total and utter disbelief. I bet she never thought that one of Kritiker's 'lowly' assassins would ever have the guts to disrespect her like that let alone talk about the organization in such a way. After a few minutes of stunned silence the doctor shakily cleared his throat.

"Um where was I… Oh yes on top of blood loss and the obvious bruises Siberian has also accumulated two broken ribs which have been wrapped and gun shot wounds to the hip and shoulder. As for his hand, I think he may have a chipped bone in his wrist, but I cannot be sure without the proper equipment to examine it. However I can be sure that nothing was surprisingly broken. His stab wound is fairly serious though. There was some muscle damage but only time will tell how severe it really is. He may need physical therapy for it, he may not."

"His legs are in pretty good shape. Aside from a few scrapes, bruises and a sprained knee they are fine. Onto the more worrisome injuries, lets just say he is very lucky. From what I can tell right now his skull is surprisingly unscathed and there shouldn't be any real damage to his eye. The nasty gash and a concussion are all that has occurred. Thinking of which Bombay I would like to look over you next." As he moved towards Omi he addede, "But I highly stress sending Siberian to one of Kritiker's hospitals for observation."

Aya was quick to speak up "He is staying here with us."

He moved back over to Ken's side. Something really weird is going on in his head. I have never seen Aya act like this towards anyone other than his sister. I make a note to talk to him late about that. Sometimes I find it so hard to believe that Ken really loves him, but it looks like there may be hope for little KenKen after all.

"As a medical professional I must stress that it would be a wise idea to transport Siberian to one of our medical centers." The poor doctor tried again. Man this guy is clueless.

"Why so you can screw with his medications to easily get rid of him and then blame his 'untimely' and sudden death on injuries just to make it so you don't have to put one of your teams on hold so a member can recuperate. Then you will ever so kindly send us a replacement. I don't think so." When did our resident iceberg become so lively and talkative I wonder.

"How dare you accuse Kritiker of such misconduct" If Birman was mad before she was fuming now.

"He is staying with us and that is final." Aya glared defiantly back at her.

"Besides," I add tanding up and moving to stand next to Aya, "We all know how much _Siberian_ loves hospitals." I stress his codename knowing it would get under Birman's skin.

Omi continued with that thought, "Last time he was there we had to put guards in his room so he wouldn't bolt and hell that was just for a few stitches he needed on his leg from falling onto a dumpster during a mission."

"Yea, Ol' soccer boy actually wanted us to stitch him up here with no pain killers or anything just so he wouldn't have to go there" Birman was about to respond but Omi beat her to the punch.

"Isn't it true that he should be in a relaxed and comfortable environment so he can heal faster? If he gets stressed like that again it may take much longer for him to recover and may in fact cause more harm." Thank God for Omi's logic, that kid really is a genius.

There was a long pause. All of us knew that Omi's reasoning, no matter how true it may have been, had a slim chance of working, but as our dear Kenken always said, 'Never lose hope in what you truly desire, always fight for it' and this time that appeared to have paid off.

Birman sighs and then looks sternly back at us, "Fine he can remain here, However the doctor and either Manx or myself will be back every couple of days to check on him."

"Thanks babe I always knew you had a heart." I answer giving her a wink. My actions make me the target of her glare, but after living with Aya 'King of the death glares' it doesn't even phase me.

"Let's go" With that Birman turned and stormed up the stairs followed closely by the doctor.

Injured, exhausted and down one member, Weiss was left wondering what we were to do now.

**_TBC!_**

Ok sorry that took a little longer than expected to get out. Work is really killing me, I have to bruises to prove it. Sorry to end it there but I really wanted to post something so you all know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Anyway the next chapter is done I just have to type it up. It will hopefully be up soon if all goes well.

Next chapter will be more interesting. Points to look forward to are Yoji confronting Aya on his feelings towards Ken, some Ran/Ken moments (YAY! ), and the conclusion to Yoji's POV (I think). Chapter 6 may have some of his POV too but it will not be the whole chapter.

**Kirei Aya: **Thank you for your review I hope this chapter was long enough for you. Please let me know what you think of this chapter as well.

**Bhidaka: **Thank you so much for you comments. I am really glad you like it so far. I am sorry that I made you cry (hands a tissue). As for a happy ending… well only time, and more chapters, will tell. Thanks again.

**Nekosune:** YUM! Thanks for the cookies, Pocky, and the review. All of which are greatly and happily appreciated. I am glad that you found my story. You actually inspired me to post this when I did. I remembered that I was almost done typing it when I got your review and decided that I needed to post the 5th chapter. So here you go. I hope you enjoy it.

As a final note I am sorry for any typos and such I hope I caught them all but you never know I may have missed a few. It is like 1 in the morning and my typing skills have seemed to have left me right now.

Thank you for reading and please review and tell me what you think!

Carrothien


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